Irishgoddess’s Weblog

So I went to mass today because GMan is being confirmed in a month, and there was a special blessing for the confirmatees.  I think that is what they called them;  all I could think of was The Illuminati and the annoying Tom Hanks/Dan Brown clips I’ve been seeing lately.

After mass there was a meeting for candidates, their sponsors, and their parents, to “train” for the service project they are doing.  The service project is providing food, preparing it, and then serving it and eating it with some homeless families.  The trainer was explaining how we need to really examine our biases and be prepared so that everyone was treating everyone with respect and dignity.

I was thinking, “See, this is one of the things I DO like about the Catholic church.  I like the emphasis on assisting others in need.”  And then this parishoner opened her mouth and said, “So, WE are getting training.  Do the homeless people get training too?  Because, you know,  they have biases too!”.  I rolled my eyes drastically, and I’m pretty sure I snorted out loud, too.   Then she said, “It’s just like racism!  The street goes both ways!”

Well, maybe so, but I’m pretty certain that the people we are serving dinner to have many better things to think about than how not to offend a weathy homeowner.    And then I didn’t like church again.  The end.

Finished my first year of law school last night.   I have two weeks of  “free” time until year two starts.

Worked 8 hours today, but didn’t need to study on my lunch hour, and didn’t need to leave at 5 on the dot to battle traffic and two highways to get to class by 6.   Instead, I came home, took the kids to rent movies, napped, and am now watching all the tivo’d shows I’ve missed for the last two weeks.

How to summarize year one?  If I knew last May what I know now…I would still go.  It is SO much harder than what I anticipated.  I don’t find the content to be difficult at all.   The sheer volume of information to be learned, however, is daunting.   When I actually study enough to handle it all (and not just cram at the end of the term) it takes all of my free time.  Lunch hours, evenings not spent in class, weekends, holidays:  All. The. Time.

And that is the hardest part for me.    I HAVE to go to work.  Law school is a choice.  But it is awful telling Lucy that I can’t take her to the store, or a movie, or go on a field trip, or that I am just too tired to play.  I have (finally) let go on the laundry, the cleaning, and other non-essentials, and DTE  has stepped in and taken over.   The guilt never ends, though, especially when more than half of the week I see her for 30 minutes – 2 hours in the morning, and return home after she is asleep.

I have also learned this first year that good grades don’t just fall in my lap anymore.  This is obviously related to the above topic; if I could spend more time studying, I could get more A’s.  But I can’t, or I don’t.   So I have had to learn how to accept that  a B and even a C might be ok.  That is NOT easy to accept.

So – back to celebrating my two week “vacation”.  This weekend I’m taking Lucy shopping, and doing the laundry myself.  I’m going to clean off my desk and make it welcoming again.  I’m going to call my sister.  I’m going to putter in the yard, and enjoy the flowers that are coming out.  I am going to Chicago with one of best friends and my favorite law school friend to watch a Cubs game from the bleacher section at Wrigley Field.  I’m going to bike ride with DTE, and we might  golf.  Heaven.  I might even blog a little bit.

And how are the rest of YOU?  I think I’ll read blogs next.