Archive for April, 2007
Goddess O’Keefe
Look at those curves, those folds, those hidden crevices that hold who knows what pleasures. Women’s bodies (and flowers, too, while I’m at it) are so amazingly delightful.
Mother, self, daughter
I need to examine this whole catholic thing, some more, again. Lucy is having her first communion next week. My mother bought her a dress about 6 months ago! She also bought her the veil, tights, and shoes. The whole thing – church, Sunday school, first communion – it is 90% about making my parents happy/keeping my mother off my back, and 8% about tradition, and 2% about wanting my kids to feel the comfort that prayer can give. I am so torn over it all, and usually I can just ignore it.
But this dress – it brings up many uncomfortable feelings for me. She looks beautiful in it. She looks like a mini-bride in it, and it made me realize with great sadness that when she gets married, her grandpa isn’t going to be there to see it. That makes me want to cry. And then, I think, holy shit! What am I thinking?! Who says she’s even going to WANT to get married? And why are we dressing up 8 year old girls to look like brides? What the fuck?!
So – yeah. I think I’m a crappy mom for making her go through this (and I will admit, she has no qualms about it whatsoever. She digs the dress up thing, she loves being in the spotlight, she loves the attention she gets from all of us for this.) I am a crappy mom for making my kids go through the entire charade of Sunday school when it is clear that I don’t believe. I wonder what kind of example I am setting for them when I say I want them to go to “honor”/make their grandparents happy, and yet my own actions in this matter show that I am too weak to stand up for my own beliefs. I don’t think they’re being taught anything outrightly bad, but the subtle (and not so subtle) messages they are picking up on…I am not being a good feminist. On the other hand, I don’t really feel like putting my kids in the middle of a huge difference of opinion between my mother and myself. Ack. Too much thinking. I’m going to go back to being a lazy person right now, and just post a few photos of the girl looking exactly like I did at age 8.
My mom gave her a pearl necklace:
My mother told her to hold in her stomach:
Looking so much like me it scares me:
And no matter how much I disagree with my mom, and how much she drives me crazy, just look at the love between the two of them:
Unconscious Mutterings Week 221
I really did do last week’s, too, but it was one of those late night posts and I hit “X” before “save”. Oops.
Here is this week’s:
- Order ::
- Mortician ::
- Determine ::
- Ignore ::
- Guy ::
- Crush ::
- Garlic ::
- Wacky ::
- Parent ::
- Burning ::
Law And (Dun DUN)
Morticia
figure out
Jill
Ritchie
on you
bread
Lucy!
smothering
sensation
What do you think when you see these words? Play along!
Bear
Yesterday morning I woke to my dog crying. He was downstairs, and in obvious pain. I got him into the vet, and 3 hours, 4 x-rays, and $450 later, he is on “strict bedrest”. Yeah. Apparently his pulled a muscle pretty severely while chasing DTE and GMan around. We also discovered he has arthritis. Poor guy.
The best sort of friend
I got an email today from one of my favorite friends. She told me to go read a certain book so that we could talk about it. God I love that. I love the excitement of looking for a book, finding it, then cracking it open, and savoring it until all hours of the night.
I went to my neighborhood library and looked it up. Every branch in the entire county has the book, on shelf, except mine. I put a hold on it – but decided I HAD to have it tonight. So I drove another 25 minutes to the next library, found it 5 minutes before check out, and ran to my car.
I can already tell I will love it; the cover itself is intriguing. I opened the cover like I would open a beautifully wrapped gift, and kept peeking inside as I idled at every stop light on the way home.
I need to go now… I need to read. Gigi, you know exactly how to be my friend.
JEJ
Days like this is how it happens: early in the morning, the warm air, the birds sing sweet songs. Coffee, reading, gentle, somewhat shy conversation. The afternoon, background sounds of lawn mowers, and chatting birds who sometimes yell. Snacks and lots of iced drinks, most involving gin and vodka. More laughing now, reminiscing, and silliness. Feeling warm inside and out. Walk to the market, stumbling close to each other, accidentally, of course. Make the food with more iced drinks, and watch the sun go down. Chairs still outside, candles lit, converation turns more intimate, more honest. I fall back in love.
Perfect Hint of Summer
Slept in, had coffee in bed, had “nice time” with my partner. Took Lucy and DTE and went to a super cool house for an estate sale. Of course we ended up buying some stuff, but the main point was showing DTE how incredibly cool this house was. Built in mid 1960’s on a beautiful river front lot. Not updated since – but so, so cool. The owner had travelled extensively, and had tons of collectibles from far flung places, as well as funky old airline travel bags and posters. Lots of really expensive Widdicomb furniture, Baker furniture, SubZero frig…but the carpet was worn threadbare. Such history…Drove across town to pick up funky 1960’s brilliant red stove that a coworker gave me for free! If I end up not repainting my kitchen we might just sell it, but right now it’s in the basement, awaiting its fate. Came home, sat in the sun, napped outside, finished a book. Went for a long bike ride with Lucy. Walked to the grocery store for steaks and wine. Grilled out, and listened to the kids play their version of “American Idol”. After getting pleasurably tipsy on my cheap wine, took the kids to the ice cream shop. Stood in line behind three high school girls, smelling of hairspray and perfume, just on this edge of adulthood, bursting with life. Bought some honey roasted peanuts, and three O-O-Oreo sundays. Now DTE is at Lowe’s, GMan is still outside in the hammock, Lucy is playing Barbies and I have time to myself. Absolute perfection.
Here is today’s shot of backyard: requisite wine glass, Lucy and babies, tree not quite fully blossomed, flowers just waiting for more sun and time to burst into lusciousness.
