I have been holding back on writing about this. I’ve been trying to be all professional, and respectful, and aware of the concept of karma. But today I’ve decided to stop being so nice.
A week or so ago there was an episode of My Name Is Earl where Earl realized that sometimes Karma can use you as a tool to create the bad karma someone else might have coming. I wholeheartedly agree. So here I post. And if I’m wrong about that, and this rant that I’m about to launch into actually brings me bad karma, so be it. I’m pissed, and I’m willing to take a risk.
I left my job a few months ago. I worked at that place for over ten years, and felt that the people there were my family. Because of the actions (and non-actions) of a small group, I found myself increasingly frustrated. I brought it to the attention of my superior (who was also, unfortunately, a friend of mine) in many different ways, over the course of the last two years. Things didn’t get better, and in fact they got worse. It got to the point where she wouldn’t even acknowledge me anymore, and in fact told me flat out that I was wrong and she was right. The kicker was when she was at my house one evening, drinking my beer, playing cards with my friend, my sister (who was the maid of honor in her sham of a wedding) and my husband, and she stated to all of us that if it came down to my job or hers, she would sell me out in a heartbeat.
Well, she did. The story, of course, is much more involved than this. If you look up the word hypocrisy in the dictionary, there will be a picture of my former boss. In fact, her code name was H.Q., for Hypocrisy Queen. But here is the real issue:
Why the fuck can’t these people leave me alone now?! I don’t work there anymore! Why am I of such collosal interest to them? Am I really so good at my job that they are that threatened by me? (I now work, happily, for their main competitor.) Or is it that they are just such horrible people that they feel good about bad-mouthing me, spreading rumors and lies? Does it make them feel good??? Why can’t they just SHUT. UP.
And here’s another thing, that surprises me and upsets me even more: there was a large group of people there who agreed with what I was trying to accomplish. They motivated me, they supported me, they encouraged me to take my concerns to the next level. Yeah, IrishGoddess, send that email! Yeah, IrishGoddess, call her up. Yeah, IrishGoddess, have that meeting with them. Well, I did that… and what happened? I ended up leaving the company, and not a fucking one of them has come to my support verbally or in any other way. They let me be the sacraficial lamb. They let me do the dirty work, and take the fall. Not one of them ever said, “I agree with what IrishGoddess did, and you never should have let things come to this!” It’s as if they think now I’m like a contagious disease and if they even say my name, much less in a supportive way, I will rub off on them. Thanks, guys, a great group of friends you turned out to be!
I feel like they sold me out. I’m bitter. I’m resentful. I’m pissed.
The good from all of this is that I have a better job, with a better pay. The bags under my eyes are gone. I sleep through the night. I don’t constantly worry about ridiculous office politics.
So what do I have to do to keep them completely out of my life? How can I stop caring and hurting?
