Irishgoddess’s Weblog

I am thankful that yesterday my dad told me I did a good job.  And then today  my mom called me, and said that my dad told her she “would have been very proud of” me.

8 – I am thankful that my brother is excited to hear from me when I write.  I am thankful for his blunt honesty.

9 – I am thankful that I got a HUGE rush tonight out of  play-acting the job I might actually have some day.    And my dad got to be there to witness – so cool.

I go to law school somewhere between part and full time.  Part time is 6 credits or less, full time is 12 or more.  I take 9.  January will by my 6th term.  I think it will be my best so far.

First, I’m going to be taking Federal Administrtive Law.  Sounds awful, doesn’t it?  But it’s being taught by an actor/professor that some of my friends have had before, and apparently he is a fantastic prof.

My se cond class will be Pretrial skills, which is a required class and full of basic info that is just going to be good to know.  NO EXAM!  There will be a paper/brief/some type of major project due, but I can handle that because….

my third class will only be TWO credits, and again, NO EXAM!  Here is the course description:

Defending Battered Women – ELEC 787 LECT

PREREQUISITES: RESEARCH & WRITING (RESW214LECT) AND CRIMINAL LAW (CRLP107LECT) AND CRIMINAL PROCEDURE (CRLP305LECT).

Provides students an understanding of domestic violence and the ways in which its victims are represented within the criminal justice system. Examines the dynamics of abuse, including syndrome theories. Focuses on how women become involved with the criminal justice system, and the general mechanics of a criminal trial for women who defend themselves or retaliate. Explores Battered Women’s Syndrome evidence and how it can be used. Discusses the phases of trials and appeals in which battered women are defendants. Representation from arrest through the appeal will be covered. Examines current state of the criminal justice system as it relates to domestic violence victims.

I think itB’s going to be great.  It’s also taught by the best prof I’ve had so far – a woman just a few years older than me, who spent her career as a public defender.

I haven’t been this excited since first term.  I needed this.   I am still doing fine, all things considered.  I still have a gpa that is decent, and if you gave me the ‘extra credit’ of also working and having kids and a marriage, I’m doing great.   But last term was a rough one in my personal life, and my grades reflected that.   I’m so lucky and thrilled that things are turning around, in all areas.

Added bonus:  Because that class is only two credits, it means I will have an extra $995 in my pocket next term.  Woo hooo!!!

Thankful for surprises.  Tall, gangly guy behind me in Professional Responsibility, his feet at my eye level (auditorium seating.)  Stubbly hair, dressed all in black.  White golf footies, and these on his feet:

I saw a bumper sticker the other day that had a pink ribbon around the words “Save the Ta-Tas”.  I chuckled.   The driver was a woman my age, maybe a few years older,  and I smiled thinking that I love women who are taking pride in themselves, in their bodies, and demanding treatment and research for a disease that is mainly a women’s disease.

I have to admit a secret, though.  Lately I have been getting back in touch with my more  “radical” feminist beliefs.  And I started thinking that maybe there is another side to “Save the Ta-Tas”.    When I think of the word “ta tas” I think mainly of some immature man getting all giggly and excited.  Most likely he loves women, or at least their breasts.  But isn’t it kind of childish giving breasts a nick-name like this?  Isn’t it almost demeaning?

I wonder if we aren’t, as women, buying into that view when we display a bumper sticker like that.  My breasts don’t matter – they are a part of my body.  My ta-ta’s do matter, and I better save ‘em, because they give men so much (visual, at least) pleasure.

I haven’t come to any big decision on this.  Just thought I’d share what ran through my head.    Maybe it just became too much when the dolts (who I do watch) on Fox NFL wore pink ribbons on their suits and hats and uniforms…because, you know, they ALL think about women’s health all the time.  What do you think?  Is it cool that we’re focusing on women’s health?  Is it great that we’re becoming so comfortable talking about women’s bodies that we can use words that are fairly non-offensive?  Or do those names offend you?   Is it over-reacting to feel that a name like ta-ta’s is demeaning?    Why don’t we have all this hoopla and pink infiltration over cervical cancer?   Do pink ribbons, and red dresses, really make a difference.  “Raising awareness” – does “Save the Ta-Ta’s” do that?

Thankful for being home on a Friday night,unexpectedly alone, in pj’s in bed at 9:20 p.m., watching TIVO’d Chelsea Lately, listening to Christmas music, cookie crumbs on my face, and playing on the internet.  Life is so good.

I am thankful that I don’t work on Fridays.  And I am really thankful that I met Alex.  I just ENJOY her.

November 1st:  I am thankful that even though she was intrusive, my mom helped me out by INSISTING on giving us a new bed for our new bedroom.  And my sister was able to lend me her car when our van died.

2nd:  I am thankful for the time I spend with my dad once a week taking a class.   I can tell he is proud of me, and that he thinks I’m smart.  It is fun sparring with him verbally in class, and fun making him laugh!  We also get 5 minutes or so in the car there and back,  to just talk.  He told me he thinks he’ll live until 85.  That is only 14 years from now.  Again, I am thankful for this very different kind of time I get to spend with him.

3rd:  I am thankful that even though I don’t have any time, I volunteered to be on the planning committee for the family reunion this summer.  As long as I’m living in town with all these folks, I might as well get to know them better.

4th:  I am thankful for my subscription to Entertainment Weekly!  I love that magazine; finding it has arrived in the mail is almost as good as getting a million dollars.  Really!

If I were an alcoholic, I would be craving a big box of wine.

If I were a coke head, I’d be calling my dealer.

If I were a shopaholic, I would be at the mall.

Amazing the power a few memories have on me.  I am reacting so strongly, it has hit my subconcsious as well.  All night I had dreams of doing all the things I normally do when I’m stressed/anxious/scared/nervous.

I hate therapy.  I hate feeling.  It SUCKS.

But, I keep going back.    When I get entirely annoyed with the whole process, I think about Claire and how I don’t want her to go through life feeling like I do.  I want her to feel whole, not damaged.  So I keep going back.

If someone had told me that having kids would make me do all these hard things, I would have reconsidered.

Just kidding.

Maybe.